Covet!

Yesterday, i do "window shopping" at toys kingdom...

i know its a quite unusual 'window shopping'..

but i did..

which later on..

I'm falling in love with this..

err...

oliver..!!!

it's a leopard doll..

his height was around my knee..

maybe a little bit higher..

exactly posing like that one..

and when i hug oliver..

....

i want oliver!!!

and..

another one..

i never found a watches..

that fits my wrist perfectly..

until i get these..catalogue..

and found this..

magnificent watch ever..

and it's more like a bracelet..

rather than a watch..

the problem is..

they both worth almost..

the same...

so..

should i go with my needs...

or my wants instead..??

xoxox,

C

Christian Louboutin.

Recently, im doing a surveys for my project..

And if you'd like to participate..

Just click here to do the surveys..

It'll be very helpful for me and my team mate..

And we're also be very thankful..

Either way..

xoxox,

C.

Love or Hate.

If someone asks me a question;

" Do you proud of Indonesia? "

I would say yes,

since Indonesia have such a magnificent scenery..

traditions..

and cultures..

but i would say no,

regarding Indonesian people are extremely annoying..

and shallow-minded..

i just cant understand the way they're thinking..

and the government,

they're not a bunch of dumb people..

yet,

they're acting like an idiot...

If it's not the government..

then what's the point of a country..?

xoxo,

C.

Homeland Country.

Indonesia is my not-beloved-country..

Cant denied it..

But French is my future-homeland..

Why..?

French really suits my lifestyle..

Sitting on the cafe along the sidewalk..

and reading books all day..

just totally enjoying life..

that's how you living a life..

unlike my super-hectic-not-lovely-country, Indonesia..

xoxo,

C.

Wish List.

Can i started to make a wish list already..??

1. start the scuba diving lessons, so i can dive the Raja Ampat..

2. Have a tattoos as my birthday presents..

3. Have all the painting equipment..

4. Join the pilates class to shape up my fatty body..lol..

5. Buy 3d puzzles eiffel tower and finished it within week..

Yaaayyyyy...

Just need to organize all the schedule and financial issues..

So i can bring them comes true...

Really cant wait..

They're super cool..!!

xoxo,

C.

Books.

I'm currently reading..

xoxo,

C.

Out Of Topic.

So, Im looking for diving fellas..

anybody wants to be a volunteer..?

And..

I'm want a tattoos..

tattoos...

not tattoo..

For my b'day...

Yippiii....!!!!

xoxo,

C.

Home Again!

I really HATE to say this..

but..

'Welcome Home'

For me..

Back with all the sea allergies..

I gotta deal with it in the next couple of days..

weeks maybe...

I love sea..

But WHY my body's rejected them..

I hate all the itchiness..

And i wanted back on cruise again..

Bring me back to the SHIP..

Pleeeaasssee....

xoxo,

C.

Quick Holiday.

Yippii...

I'm posting from lounge, btw..

LOL..

yeap..

I'm having my delayed holiday..

xoxo,

C.

Lifetime Master.

" One father is more than a hundred Schoolmasters. "

- George Herbert -

Life presents.

" The greatest gift i ever had,

Came from God, I call him DAD. "

Forever and ever.

" There is only one thing that lasts forever; Family. "

Family.

" The family is a haven in a heartless world. "

- Attributed to Christoper Lasch -

Verify.

" Some guys need a little extra time to mature."

- The Grown Ups Movie -

TRUE, TRUE, TRUE!

" A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. "

- Josh Billings -

Sniveling.

So, i havent slept since last night..

I'm perfectly vigorous..

Even though i've spent all day long walking..

Non-stop walking..

Definitely walking..

And even i felt damn wearied on the way home..

I'm rapidly back to vivacious..

I tried to sleep..

So fuckin' hard..

But there was these bad imagination haunted me..

I feels time move so fast passing through me..

Bring me back to my childhood memory..

Where i dont have to worry about anything..

Where i dont have to worry about responsibility..

Where i can hug and kiss my dad so easily..

And now..

I'm looking at my dad yesterday..

Giving up my sister..

Trembles in his voice..

Caught my sister's teary eyes..

It really breaks my heart..

I'm was remembered about my youth-energetic-healthy-with-dark-hair dad..

And now..

I'm looking at someone..

With the gray hair on his head..

Coughing due to his sickness..

And talk with his almost-lost-voice..

Taking pills everyday..

Watching him grow old..

And what's he's love is being taken from him..

One by one..

He's not as spry as i used to remember..

When i had a wrestle with him at the dept store..

Watch people die..

Is easier..

Watching them growing old..

Is the hardest part of them all..

Seeing them unable to do things they loves anymore..

That is hurtful and heartbreaking..

Imagining to lose people i very very love..

Is terrifying..

Imagining to live without them..

Is made me lose my mind..

If i can have just one thing to ask..

"Can i freeze the moment, when we're smiling and happy?"

Love you Dad,

You're the best Dad ever..

I'm not gonna let you down..

With all my everlasting love,

Siska.

Selfish vs Stubborn.

Selfish..

Do they realized when they being selfish to other person..?

There's a very thin wall..

Almost sheer perhaps..

Between 'Needs' and 'Wants'..

Selfish people tend to consider 'wants' as their 'needs'..

Do they even realized it..?

Or do they really thinks they need it..?

Stubborn..

Do stubborn people aware when they being 'close-minded'..?

There's a super fine wall between 'right' and 'wrong'..

Stubborn people tend to consider what they do 'wrong' as 'right'..

Do they aware of what they do..?

Or do they really thinks its right..?

Selfish and Stubborn..

What about selfish and stubborn people..?

There's a clear line between 'Me' and 'You'..

But for selfish and stubborn people..

'You' is only an embellishment to complete a sentences..

They needs 'You' to fulfill their wants..

Do i need to ask,

Do they really fully aware, realize and 100% conscious of what they did..?

Of what they've done..?

Do they mind some advice..?

Ask yourself..

xoxo,

C.

Run!

I miss running..

Really miss it..

I miss the feeling when the wind in my face..

where my feet took me..

I miss the peacefulness at dawn..

I miss the feeling where the clock's ticking away..

while i feels like im in the empty space..

where the time would never catch me..

I miss the feeling of the absences from all the problem..

which i'm only able to achieve by run..

and run..

and running..

XOXO

C.

F***.

I'm not gonna cry..

I'm not gonna mad..

I'm not gonna cry..

I'm not gonna mad..

I'm not gonna respect them either..

They will not welcome in my family..

NEVER EVER..

They dont deserves that..

'God, please..

this is me begging you..

give me another bucket to filled..

just give me some more patience..

please..

pleasee..

plleeeaaassee...'

You'll help me to live through these..

I have a faith in that..

Love,

C.

Anger Management.

Just because of someone i barely knew..

They tore my family apart..

i dont know where i live anymore..

Mom covered things up with lies..

And another lies..

Me..

I dont know what to say to my dad..

My sister..

Both keep silence..

They're not my family YET..

And they drained my dad's saving up to the bottom already..

And how come i considered those people as my family..??

NEVER..

That's not how a family acts..

That's not what family will do..!!

And my grandma..

She doesn't help much..!!

Aaarrrgghhh!!!!!!!

I hate all these wedding stuff...!!!

It just reveal how they really were..

Something i've tried to close my eyes to for years..

I WANT TO SLAP THEM..

IMPRECATE THEM..

Screw them..!!

NO LOVE,

C.