Pondering.

So i got a new acquaintance back in La Salle..didn't really know her very well..but i know her well enough to at least understand her..i'm practically just met her for..maybe 3 months..

Last 2-3 days ago i had a several different conversations..with a several different people as well..In this situation, i feels like i played a role as an intermediaries..i saw the world, where i lived in..in a very different way..in a very opposing point of view..i involved in a two very contradiction case..

Meanwhile, i feels very impatient watching over 'new generation' acted very sloppy, ungrateful, and lack of motivation..

Tell me how to stand still, while i'm watching someone who spends million, and million and still guiltless, while one of my friend, working extra hard just to get one piece of paper that able to give him a graduation paper..

Tell me what to do..when one of my friends, share his story about how hard it was for him just to get into a better university than the one he went to, not the best one..just a better one..while the other friends of mine, spend at least 50 millions/year at a university, and didn't even finished it..and went into another college which costs around $2200/term..and still..didn't want to finished it..

Now, tell me..i'm very anxious right now..

I gotta apologize first..I'm not planning to say the name..but YOU know who i'm talking about, right..?I'm not trying to offend you or else..but this is what i feel, and i feel that..i really need to say it out loud..by hoping you'll change..

Okay, you confess yourself as a nineteen years old girl, but you didnt act like one..you really act like a ten years old girl..you already admit that you always get what you want and need, which is a bad habit..but still no intention to change it..

Bad habit is not something to be declare and acknowledge..it something to change..I'm not saying you've never tried or else..but it's not working just by 'trying'..you gotta work it out..!

You acted like you know and possessed any knowledge you'll need..just to let you know girl..when you feels like you know everything, the truth is..you know nothing..!!you're just too pride by saying that you already know everything you should know..

Everything is boundless..you'll never have enough 'everything'..even with the whole life you have..

You gotta change yourself..immediately..not everyone's like your lovely Mom..not everyone's willing to provide you with whatever you want and need..and the most important part is..your Mom is not gonna live forever to provide your needs..i'm sorry to say that..but that's the truth..truth does hurt..

World is a magical place..there's nothing impossible..there's nothing couldn't been done..so when you say.."i can't"..that's bullshit..you just dont try hard enough..you just dont work hard enough..or maybe you dont even try..you just feel like you're trying..but you dont..or maybe..you dont want to try..but you say that you try..and that makes you feel like you're trying..

Whatever it is..it doesnt work..!!you gotta find out another way..just like the fame quotes "there's a thousand ways to Rome"..so which means, when you stop..or when you didn't succeed..you just proved to yourself that you're not good enough..that you're not know enough of 'everything'..

This is not just a random talk or some nonsense rubbish..i'm saying this because i know exactly how it feels..i've been there..i've been in that situation once..and i've done there..i've been through there..so dont say to me that you have tried hard enough..because you dont..

Not everyone having those 'easy childhood' like you do..and not everyone can have what they want like you do..while you just 'ask', they gotta 'work that out'..

And this is not something i usually do..this is not something i normally do..go and ask everyone i used to know if you want..ask to someone who 'know' me..i never done something like this before..i never really, really criticized people..i'd rather to leave them in their own hole..

This is me, trying to change..this whole blog thing is me who trying to change..and i'm doing this just because i dont want another people doing the same mistakes as i do..people i know, at least..and when i'm saying "i've been there", i really mean it..

One last thing..

This is what makes me change..this is what makes me able to work through all the hard time..

"fight yourself!"

Try to fight your own ego..and trust me..when you able to 'fight yourself'..there's nothing could stop you..

Just started from the simplest thing..pretend like you're playing truth or dare..it just in this case..it's all dare..and when you feel lazy or not in the mood to do something..just dare yourself to do the opposite things over and over and over again..do it like you mean it..and you gotta push yourself real hard as well..lets see if it works..

"It is not so important who starts the game but who finishes it."

C.